my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Someone shattered a urinal.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
