Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Randomize
