The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
