You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
