I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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