I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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