Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I deserve this hangover.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
