In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
