yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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