just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize