I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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