3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
