I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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