I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
