How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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