she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
