I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize