no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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