He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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