just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
