why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
