He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
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