In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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