i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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