we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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