Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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