Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
