last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
