Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
