you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
