my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
