If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
