i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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