Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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