If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
