well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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