Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
