me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Randomize
