You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
