Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize