they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
