I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
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Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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