Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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