So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize