i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
