I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
