I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
