I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Where is the hickey?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Randomize