Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
