You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize