this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Can you bring me the toilet please
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
