We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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