Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Plan B is the new Plan A
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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