she was so not down for the gang bang
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
