She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
