Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
