Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
