okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
