I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
