he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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