if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
