I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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