thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
